Alternative Ending To Party
by Blossom Utonium
Summary: The alernative ending to the episode Party of the Mighty Boosh.


"Hey," I muttered coyly to Howard. I wanted to know why he was sitting there. On the roof. By himself. On a cold winter's night.  
"Hi," he said rudely. "What're _you_ doing here?" I could feel my heart practically breaking in two. I gulped.  
"Head Shaman's gone mental!" I started quickly. Perhaps, too quickly. But I continued at the same speed none the less. "Thinks I got off with his wife! He's gunna chop my head off! What're _you_ doin' 'ere?"  
He shot daggers at me through narrowed eyes.  
"I'm in hiding, aren't I?" He seethed.  
"What?"  
"Hiding from the shame. The embarrassment that is my birthday party!  
My heart ached for him. For his lips on mine. For the touch of his skin on mine. I swallowed another lump that was lingering in my throat, and tried to sound confident.  
"Oh, c'mon Howard! It doesn't matter that you're a virgin. It's fine!" I said trying to sound as convincing as I could. "Women respect that. They don't mind that you haven't gone beyond a kiss!"  
An awkward silence filled the air for a few seconds before realisation finally struck me like lightning.  
"You've never kissed anyone, have you?" My voice hung around on the last few words, sympathy coating every word.  
"So?" He snapped.  
"Have you ever even held anyone's hand?" I said maybe a little too harshly. I didn't want to sound snidey, but I didn't want to come across thrilled that Howard' never had his first kiss.  
"I don't like people touching me, okay?" I hung my head slightly, knowing it was true. I'm not sure where his phobia of 'being touched' came from, but he's never let me hear the end of it.  
"Anyway" he started again. "I've had deeper relationships in my mind at a distance than you'll ever have in your lifetime. You know that?"  
It took my less than a split to realise what he meant.  
"'re you talkin' about the incident with the binoculars?" Sigh. Why did he even have to be so attracted to multi-coloured, slutty females?  
"That was never proved, okay?"  
I frowned.  
"It was in the Guardian." He gave a wry sigh.  
"Look, I don't flit about, I don't play the field, all right?" I nodded slightly. "Whatever that leap across the physical boundary, they'll be forever-"  
Suddenly, the Head Shaman jumped up from the skylight.  
"Ahh! There you are, you prancing king-fisher! Prepare to die!"  
I decided on a snap judgment on what I was going to do. No delay.  
"Hey. Look mate, I'm not interested in your wife. We were just standing in the cupboard together."  
"Just, in the cupboard, with an extreme sports model? I don't think so!" Ew. Extreme sports. Model. _Female_ model. Weird accent. YUCK! I've got nothing against her but, no thank you!  
"Honesty," I try once more to convince him. "I-I'm not interested in your wife. I'm in love with someone already." I'm not lying either!  
"The lies of a backtracking worm!" He states, fury blazing in his eyes as he waved the sword around in the air like a mad-man. Well, more of one than usual.  
I need to say something, quick! Think Vince, think!  
"I-I'm in love with Howard!" I shouted, raising my eyebrows at him. He seemed to get the point, although he made a lousy job at showing it.  
"Oh. Yeah. We're in love." He said flatly, brows furrowed.  
Head Shaman raised an eyebrow, obviously unconvinced.  
"Prove it."  
Without a second though I rammed myself into Howard, forcing my lips harshly on top of his, moving without delay. And before I even knew what I was doing, my dainty hands were cupping his face like he was a newborn baby that needed to be treated with amazing care. I knew I was getting carried away, but I couldn't help it! My first chance in months to get this close to Howard, my first chance ever to feel the rough touch of his lips grind ruthlessly against mine, and I wasn't about to just let it go. He was kissing back, but no where nearly as passionately I was. Does he not feel the same way? I mean, I've been catching subtle hints for a while now. But whether he did it unconsciously or not, I have no idea. He never has been good at this sort of thing.  
I counted to twelve before I pulled away slightly, turning my head gently, avoiding eye-contact with Howard at all cost.  
"Eh hem, I'm gunna have to go away and rethink a few basic principals. Bye." Head Shaman rushed his words, ducking and running for his life.  
"Bye," I waved sweetly.  
A few seconds of silence muffled by crickets and car engines passed. When I finally bucked up the courage to face Howard, I really wish I hadn't. His face was paler than snow, but the tips of his nose and cheeks were a rosy pink. His eyes were wide and his bottom lip, trembling. He looked like he was on the verge of tears. Guilt flooded my mind.  
"H-Howard. I-I'm so, so sorry! I didn't even think about-" I started, but was cut short by his lips pushed full force onto mine. I was confused, but kissed back in a heated passion all the same. He pulled away half a minute later, panting.  
"Why?" I whispered, breathless. He smiled, trying to catch his breath. He looks so cute when he's out of breath. Aww…  
"Because, for a while now, I've sort of, kinda, really-" I followed in his footsteps, pecking his lips three short times.  
"You too," I smiled, leaning into the crook of his neck. I could feel him smirk.  
"Thank god," he muttered, kissing my forehead gratefully before settling down also.  
I've got a good feeling about tonight…

* * *

**A/N: If you haven't seen the kiss episode (Party), WATCH IT! xD (Remove spaces)**

h t t p : / / w w w . m e g a v i d e o . c o m / ? v = H 4 O 4 0 T E 2


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